About Me

My photo
As a twenty-something foodie, avid health nut, book junkie, striving dreamer, and hopeless romantic, I'm journeying to unearth my niche. And while I'm finding out there's not much I have control over in this life, there is a whole hell of a lot to hope for. I'm passionate about cooking, and when I often feel cornered and numb from everyday obstacles, food brings me back to life; the colors, aromas, flavors. I can’t help but relish each slice of experience it has to offer. I find pure joy in reading restaurant menus, collecting cookware, and buying cookbooks (even the ones I never use). What I find even more remarkable is our everyday experiences as human beings- the way an expression, the weather, a book, or even food can leave us feeling either joyfully ecstatic or downright miserable. To cope with the truths of our everyday realities, we have no choice but to endure the array of flavors inside each experience. A good friend often tells me how the events of life have the inevitable ability to change from "sugar to sh**", which I can concur with by expressing in a more modest way: that our cravings can be as every bit as sour as they can be sweet.

On the night of January 27th, 2007 I almost died. I state this so bluntly to stress how incredibly unexpected and rapidly a short minute can change your life: the blink of an eye, the tread of a step; the turn of a wheel. Allow me to back track to the time and place which promoted this memoir and explain how I grew capable of unearthing these strategies for living.
But for starters, I learned to think of my “second life” in the terms of starting somewhere instead of starting over. When comparing this process to the practice of baking bread, it’s easy to see that both require basic ingredients for success; elements that bind them together, gives them shape and taste, and allow them to rise. This shapes good bread.
A good life can also be achieved by understanding the flour of our lives- the basis of who we are, how we live, where we’re going, and what supports us. Essential ingredients in the mix of life. Without a firm awareness of our passion- what we want out of life and what we believe in- we’re on the road to what I describe as broken batter.
On my journey from the inside out, if you will, I've encountered a number of different directions, ingredients, and utensils (and not necessarily in that order) that have taught me how to rise up from the raw, bitter parts of my past- my own, broken batter- that I've always felt were flawed and unfinished.


To salvage the uncooked parts of my center, I determined the need to recover my roots and re-establishing the pieces that mold my purpose and bring it to life-the tools that make it happen and the fixings that keep it together. However, waiting for the batter to bake, grow, change is, by far, the hardest part.

Thursday, May 31, 2012

Something to do, Something to love, & Something to hope for

The essential ingredients for a happy life...

Doing your best during the worst

Too much of anything...

  I find it challenging at times to estimate the weight of my plate, always putting too much on too little. The truth is that too much of anything- even the good things- is a recipe for disaster. I've always been numbed to the notion that I always need to be busy and, if I’m not, then I must be failing at something. Absurd, right? Welcome to my thoughts.

Change: Just another bend in the road

     If I've told myself one thing over and over during the course of my twenty-something's, it's that change is not an event; it's a process. They say that the best things are worth the wait. Warm fresh bread doesn’t rise with the snap of our fingers. Of course, no one is stopping us from taking a trip to the bakery. However, most change does not always take the easy way out.

Coffee & blueberry breakfast: oceanfront, sunrise

     Similarly, every successful recipe, especially one for change, requires a process. And true happiness, like we're always told, does not come wrapped in plastic. Not everything we want from life comes from the quick fix of a package, pill, or button.When we want to change, we have to take the time, and sometimes collect the courage, to be honest with ourselves. Nourishing our goals means nurturing ourselves; not being afraid to mis-measure and start over. If your mixer dies mid-beating, you don't untie the apron and call it quits. Simply find a spoon and beat out those lumps until smooth. No one's robbed us of our ingredients; we're still able to mix, shape, and and watch that bread rise as it bakes. The result? A perfectly good loaf of bread . And to watch ourselves, too, grow in the process. 

A mark of Passion

     Finding my passion entailed that I literally sat down, making a list of everything important to me; what drives me; who inspires me; when I feel happiest.  Once I allowed myself to discover these things. I was ready to start executing my goals and, more importantly, make a mark for myself. I've developed a greater respect for the "less is more theory," appreciating the immense satisfaction I can feel through even the smallest accomplishments.


Focus on what makes you unique and live it; be good at it and be proud of it. Focus is the key. Find something that drives you and don't let go. Keep your eyes open and your map at your side. Keep your goals, inspirations, and accomplishments with you everywhere you go. I can't admit to conquering the day that I can do this without the support of my mini notebook of goals, wants, and "to-do's." I need to wake up and open to those pages of inspiration- those scribbles, scratches, circles, and arrows of what I like to call my life in a 4 by 4.

Enjoying the Journey

         There are a lot of things I want out of life; a lot of things I don't yet have and, damnit, I want them now. A dog, boyfriend, new laptop, fulfilling career to name a few.  And I've suffered from the fabricated impression that without these things, I can’t be happy. What I’ve realized is that, as cliché as it may sound, it truly is the journey that makes it all worthwhile. So, while I endure the grief of heartache, the twinge of career frustrations, and other defects of reality, I try and keep these images in the back of my mind, and look forward to, one day, having them.